How Not To Hire Me

So I got a rather interesting email today. Ever since I put my resume public a few months ago (even though it was taken off just 2 weeks later when I accepted a position), I’ve been getting emails quite often from recruiters looking for help. Most are mildly interesting and the majority I just glance over. But every once in a while I get one that takes me aback and makes me look deeper. Some of those turn out to be really good. And some of those are shockingly bad. This one is the latter…

The email started out decent enough. This seems like a form email about a position, but I can live with form emails. There’s not a lot of information here, the intro is rather plain and there is no real indication of what the position is about…

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Normally, after reading this much, I would just delete the email and go on with my life. But for some reason, I decided to look further… The only other information the email had was a “Skills Inventory”. At first glance it appears pretty straight forward. But take a good look at it…

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Notice anything… “off” in there? My first hint was “Programming (any type) - Expert”. Does that mean they are looking for an expert at all types of programming? Or if you’re an expert at one type of programming that’s fine? Then comes another interesting line, “Knowledge of basic programming off top of head - Expert”… Ummm… What?

My favorite is the second from the bottom. “Displays honesty - Expert”… That means they want someone who’s an expert at displaying honesty? It doesn’t matter if you’re actually honest, as long as you display it really, really well? WTF?

Is it just me, or does this read more like a bad resume than someone posting a job?